hey guys!i know ive been rather, as nic puts it, erratic in blogging and i doubt pple still read (or even browse through) my blog anymore. i guess i would certainly have to apologize for that. been rather busy these past few weeks (or should i say year) got so much stuff to do but yet so little time.hmm.i have exams once a week now.and its getting pretty tiring.the workload, the stress, and the things i have to settle before goin to melbourne in early june.sigh.
anyways, been having shitty days recently and i must say ive been rather irritated and feeling crappy for almost a week now. stuff happened and im still thinking whether i wish it to happen or not. i believe ive grown mature enough not to be feeling this way but i guess the matter of the heart is very difficult to be solved rationally. sigh. i admit ive been rather needy and expecting too much from a special someone recently and i feel rather bad abt it. i often told myself NEVER to make pple feel that way, cos if it was me, i would certainly be irritated. but i seriously cant help it. i reallie dont know whats been bothering me and causing me to feel this way. is it because ive learnt to love that person so much more than i was planning to or was it because im so rusty at relationships. or maybe it is just my imbalance hormonal secretion who is acting up and giving symptoms. i guess the timing kinda bad also, we always clashed and it doesnt feel good when yu need someone and that person is just not available for yu (see how needy ive become?sigh). i reallie hope its just the stress acting up. i told myself everyday that i really have to wake up and stop feeling this way, but recently its been hard and the more i want to get myself out of it, ive falled even deeper into it. it is like a big black hole that sucks yu down.hmm.maybe an analogy of a quick sand is more appropriate in this case. feel so wanted at first but so taken for granted now.sigh.maybe im just being superbly sensitive abt the whole thing. :(
i really things will be better soon and i dont have to do things that i dont want to do just to save myself from the pain and agony of having someone special.
and i hope ill feel a hell lot better after writing a long and comfusing entry here.
-wo hui yi zhi hao hao guo-